Monday, December 10, 2007

It's Monday Morning Again

I hate Mondays. The following is a small but representative sample of what my morning has been like:

ME: Turn to a clean page in your notebooks. I'm going to put our Venn diagram up on the smartboard.

GRADE 7 GIRL: I don't have my notebook.
ME: You can go to your locker and get it.
GIRL: I don't have a notebook in my locker, either.
ME: Then take out a piece of paper. I don't care, you need to get this down.
GIRL: I don't have any paper.

At this point, the homunculus who sits in my frontal lobe and keeps me from getting fired (or arrested) most days caught me getting ready to shout, "Are you goddamn fucking RETARDED or something? This is SCHOOL!"

Fortunately, what actually came out was, "What did you think we were going to be doing today, [name omitted]? Get some paper from someone else. Now, please."

After class had ended, I found she had left me an origami crane on my desk (made out of paper) with a note (written on paper) that read as follows: "To Mr. Mac: Sorry about the silliness today in class. I'm just trying to make friends. I only have two good friends like I said SORRY!"

If I had any hair, I'd be tearing it out today.


Glenn said...

I don't know if it would cheer you up for me to say this happens with my college freshmen all the time. I mean, except for the origami crane.

Shauna said...

You know that's actually really a testament to how cool you are, right? I mean, if that kid didn't think you were a good teacher (and a good human being, repressed outbursts and all) she would have neglected to let you in on that sad little secret. Of course, teenage girls are a very manipulative subset of the species, so it may have all been bullshit, actually directed at getting the attention of the badass boys. But still, I think the paper crane speaks volumes to her esteem for you. And I loved the way you handled it. That is exactly what a teacher should say. They could make a sit-com out of you, Mr Feeny.

Lucky 13 said...

Glenn, do you ever have classroom management issues at the college level?

I really should have followed that note up with a private discussion about how acting foolish isn't the best way to make friends, but since we're not allowed to make kids come in early, stay in at lunch or stay after school, opportunities are basically limited to speaking in the hall during class time, which leaves a room full of grade 7's unattended for however long the conversation takes.

We're only allowed to give them 40 minutes of homework a night, too. That's not per class, that's between all the 6 or 7 subjects that they're taking. No wonder the average grade 7 student in Fort Kent, Maine is dumber than a sack of left-handed doorknobs. Christ.

Glenn said...

Yeah, I have classroom management issues at the college level. But typically if I kick the problem student out of class one time then they get their act together from then on. Plus, I can ridicule the students in front of everybody if they talk or their cellphone goes off. That's a lot more fun than when I taught 7th grade.